Lifting Me Up

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NEW BLOG AND URL!!!! June 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — liftingmeup @ 9:40 pm

I am revamping the site… a LOT!

Our new URL… ready?

http://liftingmeup.com

WOO HOO!!!

Please visit me there from now on.  There is going to be a different set up and some new fun stuff going on. It’s still a work in progress but everything that was here is now there.

Hope to see you there!!! 🙂

 

Happy Memorial Day May 31, 2010

Yesterday, my husband, sons and I went to the Houston Zoo. In the Children’s Zoo section they have an injured American Bald Eagle who lives there. She has a gun pellet stuck in her joint permanently so she cannot fly well. The zoo rescued her and that is her new home. Heartbreaking that someone would injure any animal like that, but especially our beloved eagle.

I was watching her perched on a branch and admiring her incredible beauty. Her dark feather contrasting her white feathers, her yellow beak, her bright intelligent looking eyes taking in her environment, fully aware yet cautious of all her admirers. She was fascinating. I had to take a picture of her. Thank you to my brother for giving me his 200mm lens so I could zoom in on her face like that. Isn’t she a beauty?

We have our American flags up on our front yard today. We’ve had them all weekend. My kindergartener loves flags. He’s learned so much about flags in school this year. We all love our flag.

My husband came here as a child refugee from a war-ridden country that wanted to kill him for his religious beliefs. I came here as a child looking for a better life, for those streets paved in gold, because back home I wouldn’t have amounted to much more. This country took us both in and gave us the lives we have. It gave us so many opportunities. It gave us our educations, college, jobs, lives, our FREEDOM.

One of my favorite trips in the world is to tour our nation’s gorgeous capital, Washington DC. To see Abraham Lincoln sitting so royally, usually with a dove on his hand, or the Roosevelt waterfalls. Amazing. I love visiting DC. The most poignant part of the trip for me is always a tour of Arlington Cemetery. The first time I went the tour guide said “This is what the price of freedom is, people. Enjoy your freedom. They’ve paid for it.” And it gave me chills.

Now that my baby brother has enlisted as a Marine, it hits me a lot harder. He’s surely to be deployed soon and we’re all nervous wrecks about it. But it’s his choice, God’s will and his destiny. What God wills. But Memorial Day means a lot more to me now than it ever has.

It’s not just about hot dogs and burgers and beaches and parties… please take a moment to read about it and learn what it truly is about. In the meantime, enjoy your day with your family. And thank God and the USA for your freedom and liberty. Have a happy, safe, blessed and grateful Memorial Day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_Day

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93711?fp=1

American Eagle

American Eagle

 

My Photography: Pretty Flowers May 30, 2010

Pretty Flowers

Pretty Flowers

 

Quote to Share May 29, 2010

Filed under: Challenge,Encouragement,Faith,Inspiration,Quotes — liftingmeup @ 1:31 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”

–John Wayne

 

What Do I Have To Live For May 28, 2010

I’m writing a very serious post today. No wisecracks, no sarcasm, no jokes.

I felt I needed to address this topic.

A few months ago, something happened that destroyed my life as I knew it.  I had an incident occur that pretty much ripped the floor out from underneath me and left me hanging onto shredded floor boards for dear life, on the brink of the abyss. I knew that the betrayal and evil that had caused all of this was only the beginning and that the worst was yet to come. I didn’t know what to do. I felt at such a loss for proper thinking. I already had so many other problems going on. I felt so alone. I felt like this was going to destroy not only me, but my kids, my parents, brothers and my husband. I felt like if I disappeared, so would this.

I went home and downed well over 30 something very heavy pills and slit my wrists. I got so sick that I tripped and bumped my stomach into a kitchen counter and threw up. Still nearly unconscious, I laid down. My husband, call it intuition, figured out what I was doing, and called 911 and broke down my door. He and the EMTs saved my life, against my will. But they did. I spent a few days hospitalized before the hell I dreaded broke loose.  Down into the abyss I went.  It was four days before I was able to go home.

My little boys were so happy to see me.  Hugs, kisses and super clingy. God, I had missed them. My angels. I was a wreck thinking about how at least I was seeing them. A few days earlier I thought I’d never see them again. My parents moved in for a few weeks to help out and take care of me. My husband was very protective.  Between the three of them, everywhere I went, I tripped on a human shadow making sure I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I felt so guilty about making them worry so much. I had hurt my family more than I ever dreamed. 😦

It took a long time but little by little I started feeling more at peace with the catastrophe we were going through. All of the nightmares I thought were going to come of the situation came about but we were banding together and surviving. I started to feel less bitter about being alive and more grateful to have more time with my family.

I was diagnosed as chronically depressed. Depression that would always be around, therefore probably requiring medication the rest of my life. Yes, exercise, diet and proper sleep would help, but medication would be necessary. I learned a lot about depression. It’s not a mood or a state of mind  – it’s not a decision or a feeling – it’s a medical condition. A real condition beyond just “Snap out of it” and “Be positive.” You can’t just smile and be happy. No one can yell, scream or demand you un-depressed. It doesn’t work that way. It requires patience, love, understanding, compassion, counseling and medicine.

To my friends and family, please don’t think I’m suicidal again. I’m not. I’m not writing this for that reason. I’m just feeling like I needed to get this out, in case any of my readers are. I want them to know it’s not the right answer.  The guilt, shame, sadness and eternal pain you will leave on your loved ones is like nothing you can imagine. Even if you feel like you have no one, turn to me. If I could I would grab everyone that ever thinks about it and convince them not to. Please know that I love you, even if I’ve never met you.

One of my best friends in the whole wide world once said to me, and I quote: “It’s like when a hurricane hits.  Everything is topsy-turvy for the moment and it seems like all will be destroyed.  But a little time passes and soon the sun comes back out, flowers begin growing again, rebuilding takes place and before you know it, it truly is a new day.    You just have to have faith in yourself, know who you are, and refuse to let today’s hurricane steal tomorrow’s sunshine from you.”

Isn’t that amazing?  I re-read his note all the time. It’s true. So please, if I can survive my nonsense, you can, too.

HUGS… and know you have a friend in me.

Love,

AB

 

I’m sorry. I love you. May 27, 2010

Recently, a wonderful friend of mine, who I affectionately like to call Sugar Nugget, turned me on to a subject called Ho’oponopono. Another friend of mine said it sounded scandalous. Silly rabbit. My mom and husband just looked at me like I spend too much time cooped up at home (not my fault). My brothers just continued doing whatever it was they were doing.

Anyway, Sugar Nugget, as we shall refer to him as in this post, described it as “a Hawaiian shamanic practice of forgiveness called ‘Ho’oponopono’…  The idea is to recognize yourself in others, acknowledge your oneness in the universe and whatever karmic connection you had in their wrong doing.”

He sent the following link about it and then signed his e.mail with “I’m sorry. I love you.” I thought he’d gone off the deep end. 😛 No offense, SN.

http://nourishedmagazine.com.au/blog/articles/ho%E2%80%99oponopono-lessons-from-hawaiian-shamanism

I was very intrigued. A way to make peace with myself and the world around me… Oh I long for tranquility…

So I looked up Joe Vitale and his books and purchased the book “Zero Limits.” He describes Self I-dentity through Ho’oponopono… where you try to clear energy with everything around you by asking God or the Divine for forgiveness for the erroneous thoughts within you that have caused problems for you and that person. You ask for forgiveness, you’re thankful and you say I love.  I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

I’ve noticed it helping me in some situations. At the very least, I feel more love toward myself… forgiving myself for things I’m too harsh on myself for. I’m forgiving myself for my own flaws and thus seeing others in a less harsh light. Seeing myself with more love and loving others more. I say my prayers with it, reading my Baha’i writings and clearing my energy and feeling so much lighter.

Still learning, still praying, still clearing energy… but feeling better. Getting there, little by little…

So thank you, my wonderful Sugar Nugget, for introducing me to something so helpful. I’m sorry. I love you, too.

Peace of I, everyone, Peace of I.

 

Why? May 26, 2010

So OBVIOUSLY, aside from this blog, I have several other facets to my life. You already know I’m a mama and a wife. I’m also a daughter and a sister. I’m a niece, a cousin, a granddaughter, an aunt, a friend, a woman. I’m a writer, a photographer, an editor, a worker… I have a life outside of here. 😛

I’m sitting here at my PC and I’m feeling quite blessed for it all today. Maybe because I was able to sleep well last night (mostly). Yay for new meds! Yay for health insurance to cover (most of) their costs! I’ve been having such a rough time with sleep and my doctor changed my medications around yesterday. It worked. Didn’t have to give me sleep medications, thankfully. Just adjust my anxiety medications. Like I’ve mentioned, I’m going through some really rotten stuff in my personal life. Try as hard as I do to be positive, it sometimes overcomes me. Other days I am able to ignore it but it seems to pop out at night. So I thank God for modern medicine that can sometimes help me out.

Or it may be because I truly love the palm tree right outside my window, in my backyard. Palm trees are one of my favorite beauties of nature. My true favorite tree is the weeping willow. If I had that in my backyard, I’d write under it with my laptop daily. Instead, I have a palm tree that I can admire from behind my window, in air conditioning. It’s currently 93 degrees out here in Houston. YICK! Palm trees remind me of Costa Rica, my birthland. They remind me of the beach (not that there’s one nearby – the man-made one down the block does NOT count). They remind me of tropical latin music and pina coladas. I love them.

Or it may be because I look up at the windows above my PC, along the upper edge of my wall, and see all my little decorative knick-knacks. I see a mini ox-cart, or carreta, from Costa Rica and just love it. I see the wooden carved elephant with a man riding on it from India, given to me from a dear friend.  I see the candle holder, with a painting of a mommy carrying her baby girl, that always reminds me of my my mom and I.  I see the crystal basket with potpourri, given to me by my mother-in-law. I see the wooden carved avocado from Costa Rica, given to me by my late grandma. ❤  I also see my collection of porcelain tea pots, the two sculptures of a couple dancing and the small sculpture of a mommy holding a baby. All of those knick-knacks mean so much to me. They make me smile and remind me of the bounties in my life.

Maybe I feel energized from the big old round of tag my 4-year-old and I played for a good half an hour. We ran around the house chasing each other, laughing, making silly noises, pretending to be pirates, zombies, ghosts, even Spongebob and Patrick (ugh). Nothing like the contagious giggling of a child to make your adrenaline run.

My 6 year old is about to graduate from kindergarten and my heart is swelling with motherly pride. That probably has a lot to do with it.

My husband has been a wonderful sweetheart lately, very affectionate and very helpful around the house. Hmmmm…

My family loves me no matter what spats we get into.

I also work for a site I really enjoy and love to work for. I’ve had some successes there lately and have really felt positive about making a good impact. Especially today. That may be helping somewhat.

One of my closest friends always has so much positivity for me and reminds me daily that I’m worth so much more than I give myself credit for.

It could also be the big bowl of vanilla yogurt, with granola, almonds, strawberries and blueberries that I just devoured. DELICIOUS!

Or the earl grey tea with bergamot. Mmmm…

Whatever it is… I’m in a fabulous mood today. I see the news and I read stuff online and sometimes I’m like “GADZOOKS! WHAT ON EARTH?!” and it just flat out reminds “Lady, you got it good. Thank GOD for that!”

🙂

Hope you all find something to be thankful for. If you do, let me know. HUGS TO ALL MY READERS!